i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
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The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
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Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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