The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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