OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
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he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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