the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize