i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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