I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
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And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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