I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
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I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
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Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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