Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize