That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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