FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize