Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
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can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
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I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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