you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
birth control should be required to get into college
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
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I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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