idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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