Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
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The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
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If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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