i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize