I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize