There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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