Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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