It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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