So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize