how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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