I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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