Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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