If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize