Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
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She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
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When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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