fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize