roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
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he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
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Found your dick twin last night
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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