I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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