I want to walk on stilts...naked
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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