I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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