I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
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You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
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I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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