people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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