i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I've blown a few things in my day
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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