girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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