I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
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