I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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