You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
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She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
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You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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