I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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