he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize