Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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