Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize