it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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