Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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