Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
she was so not down for the gang bang
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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