Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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