u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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