Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize