I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
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i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
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Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
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