im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize