trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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